Ask Shelby: Lost and Worried (Part 1)

Here is October’s first installment of “Ask Shelby” with Chester County’s own Marriage and Family Therapist Shelby Riley:

Dear Shelby,

I’m worried about my son. He’s six and I think there is something going on. He seems angry and sad a lot. He has trouble focusing and he can’t remember what I tell him to do and gets easily distracted. He has wild mood swings and sometimes he seems really tired and listless. I don’t know if this is normal kid behavior or if I should be worried. I’m confused about who I should talk to about this. Do I call his pediatrician? A therapist? A psychiatrist? Help!

Signed,
Lost and Worried

Dear Lost and Worried,

I know how scary it can be to think there might be something going on with your child and not know how to handle it. It’s smart of you to be concerned. And I’ll guide you through the process:

1.) The first step is to consult your pediatrician. Have a full physical done. You want to make sure there aren’t any medical reasons for his symptoms. Lyme disease can look a lot like the symptoms you describe. Anemia can cause listelessness and fatigue. The symptoms you describe can also be indicative of depression or ADHD, so meeting with your pediatrician is the first step in finding out what might be behind the behavior. Hopefully your doctor knows your child well and can note if there are any medical or developmental concerns.

2.) Check with your child’s teacher. Does he see these symptoms in the classroom? This will help determine the severity of the symptoms and helps professionals diagnose properly. If ADHD is a concern, it will usually be noted at school. A child who has mild depression may be able to mask it at school and then loses it at home just from the exhaustion of trying to cope all day, but a more severe depression will be noted at school as well as at home.

3.) If your pediatrician recommends any follow-ups, schedule them. A pediatric neurologist has specialized training to diagnose complicated ADHD. A child psychiatrist is a medical doctor who has specialized training in diagnosing and prescribing medication for childhood mental health issues, like depression and anxiety. A therapist can help provide treatment for his issues and help him (and the rest of the family) learn how to better manage his symptoms so he can function better on a daily basis. For a child of six, you want to work with someone trained in play therapy, and plan to be a big part of his therapy, as most of the coping skills he’s learning will need to be reinforced at home and at school. Most parents find it very helpful to know what their child is learning in therapy and to learn themselves more effective ways of addressing the issues at home.

In my next post, I’ll break down the different kinds of therapists so you can make the best choice possible for your son and your family.

Yours,

Shelby

**Remember to check out Shelby’s website, Family Help Today, for a variety of useful information for couples, individuals, families, and kids. You can also find out more about Shelby’s AWESOME e-books on her site.